Slowing down can make you more productive and content🫧
Don’t take my word for it, try it yourself!
Rushing is our baseline state. Well, it’s mine anyway. I know it’s not conducive to the way I want to live, yet I do it again and again. Living in a busy city, for lack of a better word, probably ‘inspires’ me to be busy, the education system and my previous workplaces paying for my time also reinforced the idea that I need to go through stuff quickly, to reach… what? A pledge that I did something quickly? A tap on the back that I neglected my needs and did not respect my body to get something done? Only to experience burnout when this mindset was amplified after having kids? No, thank you.
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Rushing can have multiple forms. It can manifest itself when you’re out there chasing your dreams, when you want to rush through every step, only to finally reach your goal and be like? Now I’m okay? Rushing can also manifest as an empty thought loop. For example, when you are ruminating on the past, when you’re checking all your apps or news for content, so basically empty activities. Slowing down can feel scary. You fear that you don’t have enough time, yet you waste it. If you tap-tap on your phone, feverishly multi-task or context-switch a lot, you can feel productive but you’re not really progressing towards your dream. It’s a state of feeling busy.
It’s hard to focus when your head is constantly sending you alerts like ‘the plants should be watered. WHY DIDN’T YOU WATER THEM ALREADY?!’, ‘order those shoes for your kids, those fluffy furs make their feet HOT, WINTER IS OVER’, or constantly thinking about what comes next. Last week, I had to bring my kids to the chiropractor and they also had their pictures taken that day in kindergarten. There was a small timeframe to drive them from kindergarten to the chiropractor. I was also frightened that I had to drive up on a hill as I am an inexperienced driver (I wrote about going back to driving here, READ IT! I did something despite my fear!). All this stress hijacked my mind and thoughts swirled on repeat about what I would do when, what I should have been done with when, how much time was left until, etc. I was depleted before I even began the journey. And what was the result? I reached for my phone to check every app that had notifications and swipe out my mind’s toxic thoughts. To no avail.
Our screens! OH MY GOD! None of the apps we use give us the feeling of being DONE. Social media wants to lure us in, never let us go and make money off our time. We need to be very mindful of how and why we use these apps. If we encounter a so-called bad feeling, like fear, shame or anger, it’s so easy to reach for our phones. We spend so much precious time hooked on our screens, only to drain our energy even more, pump up our anxiety about the shit ton of things we have to do and deplete our dopamine reserves, leaving nothing for the actual thing we wanted to do. I’m not sure you know or not, but dopamine is the fuel in your body that you can get once you’ve achieved something, and if you fill yourself up with empty dopamine, like checking your phone, you won’t have much drive left for other things. Like doing your job, making art, trying something new or being present with your kids.
How to get back on track when you have fallen out of the wagon, rushed too much or depleted your dopamine reserves, and now you’re feeling shit?
Pour back into your cup. If you can’t avoid a responsibility, do its bare minimum with a lot of compassion and love for yourself. Decide what is an emergency and leave the rest for another day. If you have self-care practices, like meditation, breathwork, walking, take breaks and do them. Maybe you’ll find that all you needed was a break and a breath of fresh air! Maybe after you had a break, you’re back, feeling replenished. If not, make restoring your energy your top priority once you’re done with your must-dos. Be mindful that your evenings are for preparing for the next day. Your energy is no exception. It’s crucial how you spend your evenings, especially when you’re depleted. If you scroll on your phone then, it’s guaranteed that you'll feel drained the next morning.
My top tips for winding down and restoring my energy: drinking a calming tea, reading a book, putting on a calming face mask or just simply staring at the wall. Going to bed at a reasonable hour is also top on the list!
I invite you to be curious about YOUR way of restoring your energy and see it as an example, not something to strictly follow. I also invite you to forgive yourself every time you mess this up. Imagine your inner voice as someone who sees your mistakes but who’s also your best friend so she comforts you, gives you a huge hug and champions you to flourish in what you aspire to do. A friend who’ll be there with you next time you try. And lock that fucking phone/laptop in a drawer. I hate that we were fed the idea that screens are for winding down, like watching a movie, a series, or scrolling nonstop. They are so far from calming us down!
I’m in the same boat together with you. This is as much an advice to me as it is to you. I’m still struggling with rushing, restoring my energy levels, being mindful what’s doable and what’s out of limits at certain moments, but I commit to growing in this area.
And what’s the antidote to rushing?
Here are my four tips:
Presence
If you’re there with whatever you’re doing, your thoughts aren’t scattered, you don’t fixate either on the past or on the future, you focus and you reap the benefits in cosy, warm feelings. It’s a hard one to practice but it’s something absolutely worthwhile and nourishing to cultivate! You can do that with mediation, yoga, breathwork, hiking, being in nature in general. If you have more tips, pop them in the comments!
Doing things at YOUR pace
This one is revolutionary for me. A close friend reminded me that I should do things at my own pace. I was like, WHAT? Is that allowed? And didn’t she know how behind I was with EVERYTHING? But the thought stayed with me and I am experimenting with it. I have to tell you, I do feel like a lazy person sometimes but it’s very fulfilling to go at my pace. Allowing myself to be slow is weirdly pumping me up and makes me more productive.
Rest regularly
Rest is as much a part of life as achieving! One cannot function without the other. Take your time to replenish your energy, fill yourself up with goodness to have enough for achieving! And also, for having a fulfilling life. Filling yourself fully = fulfilling. OH MY GOD!
Practice gratitude
Regularly keeping in mind what you’re grateful for can alter your mindset to focus on life’s positive offerings which the world is abundant in as much as it is with negatives. And as you train your mind to see positively, you will notice your baseline mood is contentment and it’s so much easier to stay away from toxic patterns and grow out of a scarcity mindset, like rushing. Try to be mindful of what you’re grateful for. It can be as tiny as the taste of a frothy matcha latté you made in the morning. Or a gorgeous flower blossoming on the side of the street. Anything that sparks joy in YOU. Don’t fake it, just notice it.
Journaling prompts - Prepare for next time
What makes you rush? What kind of situations do you experience yourself rushing through? Can you name the feeling, that causes you to skip through the bad parts?
What do you think of yourself if you fall behind? Examples: lazy, useless, good-for-nothing, essentially… not enough? Write out specific words, phrases, and sentences.
What are the activities that nourish you, fill you up? Write down everything you think of and I invite you to put that list up somewhere you can see it regularly. Like on the wall next to your desk, on the fridge, on the mirror, or anywhere you look regularly.
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